Friday, January 4, 2008

"The Virgin Mary does not chew gum."

My boss, who is Jewish and doesn't celebrate Christmas, gave me this gum with a Christmas card (and a honkin' bar of dark chocolate). He's cool like that.



I love this gum! That's saying a lot for a non-gum chewer. Seriously, when people offer me gum, I usually refuse because I feel bad chewing it for about 52 seconds and then spitting it out. I can chew bubble gum for about 2 minutes and 36 seconds, because of all the bubbles and my loud popping abilities and whatnot. But that's about it. Until this gum. Which I can chew for about 6 minutes at a time, give or take. I even came home and told my chewing gum connoisseur of a husband about it.

I wasn't always like this, you know. I used to chew gum for hours on end, until it disintegrated into little grainy pieces in my mouth. I used to POP! bubbles loudly for all to hear, and prided myself of making two or more bubbles to pop at a time.

Anywho, I've been enjoying the above-pictured gum by the stick for about 2.4 weeks now, and the other day I may have discovered why I like it so much.

As I went to put a stick in my mouth, I breathed in. And don't you know those little neurons that send smells up to the brain hooked up with the ones that trigger memories - and I was transported back to my childhood, sitting next to grandma with her big granny purse open, getting her gum pack out and handing it around to whichever grandkids happened to be circling about her at the time.

And I chewed happily, with thoughts of my gramma swimming around my brain. . .

Indeed, gum is a fascinating thing. Which got me thinking about all my other "gum memories".

What are some of yours?

[Title quote is from "Simon Burch"]

10 comments:

Jen said...

you crack me up w/ your creative writing and your random subjects!! I wanna know why you ever gave up gum in the first place! Gum memories eh?... My High School English teacher Ms. Vote a.k.a. the dragon lady could smell grape gum (i mean who can't though?) anywhere in the room and bust you for it. You could chew gum anywhere on campus w/ the exception of the dungeon, her classroom. So we used to chew it just to see if she could catch us and she was known to hate grape gum so now anytime I smell grape gum I am immediately transported back to high school!! Ah good times!!

Jonathan & Katherine Earl said...

I remember this gum (I think it was called "Tidal Wave" or something) that had this liquid-y center. I loved to bite into it and taste the gush of grape liquid! I don't know that I liked the gum as much as other brands of grape gum, but I liked the center. I also remember sneaking into my mother's top drawer to get half a stick of Wrigley's spearmint gum. She kept the gum in the same location as all of her costume jewelry from her teenage years, the stamps, and other odds and ends.

Caroline said...

We weren't allowed to have gum. On account of a certain sister who may or may not have ruined my mom's favorite expensive purse by using it as a garbage can.

Meanwhile, remember Big League Chew? It was awesome because it was soft.

caroline said...

I TOLD you to just email me for pete's sake and I'll make your blog oh so cute. sigh. Don't you ever learn?

so, once again. email me.
sweetmommybingham@gmail.com
and give me your login stuff and I'll just do it myself ;) P.S. what's your favoriteist color ever?

caroline said...

PPS I know favoriteist isn't really a word. I'm not completely dumb. But I really wanted the "ist" at the end.

PPPS No wonder I'm one of your favorite commenters....

Jonathan & Katherine Earl said...

Okay, so I've got the coolest gum story so far. It was on a beautiful morning in June when I took my newly purchased motorcycle, Elvira, on a ride up Apache Trail toward Canyon Lake. On my way, I took a turn too wide and my front wheel hit the shoulder and I laid the motorcycle down hard. I got up grimacing in pain and paced back and forth in horror at what had just happened when along came the renegade man on his Suzuki motorcycle that stopped to help me. I took off my helmet, and as we worked together to get the motorcycle out of the ditch, I spit out my gum which landed in the renegade's long flowing locks of hair. Apologetically, I told him that my gum had landed in his hair to which he responded somewhat snarling, "I know." What a bad morning to be topped off with such an embarrassing experience. Can anyone top that? If you're interested I've got more embarrassing motorcycle experiences that will keep you laughing, but I'll save those for a more relevant blog. -Jon-

Nichole said...

Oh Jon! I'm laughing out loud over here! Not at you, WITH you. . . right?

trina said...

ok so for all the friends of N from her sis... she played such a trick on me with gum! i had surg when i was about 8-9 and they put peppermint flavor in the mask. i had to breathe it in for over an hr. i HATED peppermint after that and everyone knew it. so N decided that she would give me this COOL new bubblegum... bubblegum they don't make peppermint bubblegum, so ok. ya right! it was bubblicious' new flavor and nichole just thought that i would LOVE to try it... i spit it out and gagged for about 1o min min then cried. btw, i do remember the gum from gramma, she used to give to us in church to shut us up after sunday school. (i think it was the white wrigley's?)

Nichole said...

OK, to be fair - I remember very little about growing up and Trina has a much better memory of such things. So, I probably did torture my sister; I just don't remember it.

Jonathan & Katherine Earl said...

OK...I know my gum stories don't even compare to my husband's "biker gum" story, but since school starts back up for me on Monday, this whole gum thing got me thinking about all of my "brilliant" students who think they can fool me be pretending to spit out their gum and then stashing it in their cheek as they walk back to their seat. Don't they realize that I can tell that one cheek is now bulging significantly more than the other one? Also, it is obvious that they still have something in their mouth when you don't hear anything hit the trash can or when you see them occasionally try to sneak a few quick chews on their "hidden" gum. Occasionally, I accuse a student of chewing gum and they are actually chewing on something much more gross. Even 6th graders can be caught from time to time chewing on boogers or some random piece of plastic they found on the floor. One time I asked a kid to stop chewing on his gel pen (it was actually quite loud...you could hear his lips smacking together around the barrel of the pen). Anyway, a few minutes later he came up to me with ink dripping out of his mouth (it was metallic green or something)to ask if he could go wash his mouth out in the bathroom. GROSS!-katherine-

 
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