Tuesday, May 6, 2008

"Dogs rule and cats drool."

In honor of the approaching "Ode to Mom" day, I present to you

Everything I’ve Learned about Motherhood I’ve Learned from My Dogs

Here's what being a dog mom has taught me about motherhood:

~ You might just want to skip the baby stage all together! We got both our dogs at 4 months of age, and count ourselves happy not to have had to go through the "baby puppy stage".

~ Maybe, just maybe (but probably not), you'll be able to deal with the puking thing. When Nani threw up from anesthesia after getting spayed, I am proud to say I did NOT panic! Instead, I ran to the kitchen, got a dishtowel, threw it under her and held her in place while she did what needed to be done.

~ A new "baby" might make your older children less appealing now that they've grown out of the baby stage. It also might propel them out of the baby stage and make them grow up faster than you realized they could. It might also make you realize you can secretly think one of your children is cuter than the other.

~Poopy messes test your patience. And your endurance. And your empty morning-stomach. And you can sometimes leave the bedding outside until the man gets home to clean it up with ye olde pressure washer.

~YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN!

~Children will always prefer the mom to the dad. Unless the dad is laid off and home for two months straight. That might even the playing field. But probably not permanently.

~It's so sad there are laws about child care, because it's so nice to put doggie children in the back yard and leave for a couple of hours. *Sigh*

~Every move you make becomes scrutinized. Laugh too loud? Scratch your head? Some little "child" is coming to find out what's wrong.

~Children pee in the unlikeliest of places and sometimes you have to take their beds away. Or at least make sure they don't drink any water after 8:00 p.m.

~Children will always clamour, fight, and bite each other for your affection. That's why it's good to not have more children than you have arms.

~They'll love you even if you yell at them. But try not to yell at them. That's why they like the dad less.

~The oldest will always try to be the boss. Especially if she's a girl.

~They grow up FAST, get big, and die. Er, I mean "move out". Enjoy it while you can.

[Title quote is from "Homeward Bound II"]

3 comments:

Kimberly said...

~lol~ The parallels are just incredible!

Jen said...

too funny! i do have to agree w/ the it's too bad there are child care laws! It would be nice to throw them in the back yard and go run some errands!!!

Trina said...

u mean u can't leave ur kids in the backyard all day?! that's the reason we're househunting!! similarities are too funny, and by funny i mean scary!

 
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