Monday, June 16, 2008

"You know what I'm craving? A little perspective. That's it. I'd like some fresh, clear, well seasoned perspective."

So. I'm sorta kinda ready to come back. I'm still working on the part about gaining perspective.

During my absence, I've become accustomed to the empty in-box, the lack of comments (excepting, of course, the outpouring of love I received from my last post. Thanks everyone!), and in general, the quiet that comes from not needing someone else's approval all the time. So, that's something.

I've had a lot happen. Going through the stuff with my brother, I've been able to reflect a lot. It's amazing what happens sometimes when God is teaching us. He can't give it to me all big and grandiose like it is or I'd collapse under the weight. Instead, he has provided it in snippets. In the times when I can be reflective, when I'm least expecting it, when my mind is quiet and my body is still.

Strangely, it hasn't come when I've been writing here. Or in my journal. Just in intangible instances, shifts and shapes of imagination and thought and wonder, like a breeze wafting into a room, skimming over you, barely touching your skin - and then it's gone justlikethat.

In those small moments, I have had the most profound and unparalled sense of myself, my eternal identity, the grandness and goodness of my life. Those greatest of gifts I never knew existed, wrapped up in spirit and tied up with gold.

It's been amazing.

I can only hope to be receptive enough so that these gifts keep coming to me in unexpected ways and at unexpected times.

So, if my time here is spotty and sporadic, please forgive me. I do have a couple of stories in my pocket. . . but I also have to do some more learning and will be trying to keep my mind quiet enough to receive.

[Title quote is from "Ratatouille"]

4 comments:

Jen said...

I am so sorry to hear about your brother!
I can be patient w/ your sporadic appearances here! cuz I love you!!

Kimberly said...

To everything a time and a season, right? I'm learning to blog when I want to...choose to. The feeling of balance that comes with that is quite lovely and well worth striving for, I think.

You've expressed your thoughts beautifully as always, and I'll patiently await when the time comes for you to share more.

Miranda said...

I miss your posts, too, but I have been just as sporadic! (How dare I start a blog and then not post anything for a month!) Life is just that and you'll get the perspective you need when you need it! Love you!

heather said...

That post is so poetic! Thank you!

 
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