Tuesday, August 26, 2008

"You just had one of those 'I glued a bird to my head' days."

Origins Teacher Lady Kicks Aveda Pride Lady's Hiney!

I had to go into the annals for this one (i.e. my missionary journal). Sadly, though, I could not find the historical documents about the Aveda Pride Lady. (can missionaries keep blogs now? 'cuz, um, that would really help with the whole historical documents thing) (then again, I heart heart heart my journals).

Anywho, I'll have to rely on my poor, sad, recollection of things. Aveda Pride Lady was snotty and impatient and when she looked at you, Aveda products appeared where her eyes should have been. (you know, like when someone has dollar signs for eyes?) We couldn't even frequent her store if we weren't Serious about buying Aveda products. So we laughed at her and avoided her store while our laundry spun and fluffed next door.

Memories of Aveda Pride Lady came wafting up all because of my trip to the doctor. After waiting for 25 minutes, the doc came in and did what I like to call the Rush and Shuffle - asking me the standard questions in rapid-fire succession, shuffling through my chart, and pronouncing (dut duh duh dahhhh) that it's Viral. (seriously, I can't seem to make myself break up with this doctor! I love her waiting room too much. It has a powerful ambiance - what, with the water fountain, the beautiful tile, the Italian opera piped in overhead, and the cushy chairs - it's practically MagicLand for sick people!)

So, I rewarded myself for having survived another Rush and Shuffle and dragged my exhausted, viral self into Dillards and to the Origins counter for some much needed foundation and a free skincare sample.

The woman helping me, Brenda, has now been dubbed Origins Teacher Lady because she does, in fact, teach for Origins. She was so calm, and nice, and unpushy, and helpful. I was feeling like. . . not good. . . and she took my hands and showed me product and then she did Peace of Mind with me. Yeah. I thought that was just a product, but apparently it's also an action.

She put some Peace of Mind on my finger, and put some on her finger, and walked me through the steps, her standing on one side of the counter, me on the other. We warmed it up by spreading the pepperminty dab between the fingers of our own hands, then we each tented our hands over our noses, and as we each breathed in and out, in and out, I had a Namaste moment and the words entered my mind. . . "the divine in me bows to the divine in you". . .

We continued to breathe - in, out, in out - then we each rubbed the pepperminty concoction into our shoulders and necks, onto our temples, and finished the ritual by breathing in from Tented Nose. I felt like I was in a yoga session and as we finished, I wanted to do a Sun Salutation, then bow to her and say "Namaste".

I didn't.

But I DID feel better.

And that's how Origins Teacher Lady rocked my world on a sickly Tuesday afternoon. And that's why she officially kicks Aveda Pride Lady's rear end.

[Title quote is from "Forget Paris"]

2 comments:

Trina said...

u r soooo funny... luv u!

Jordan Wilcox said...

Yeah, I think you got the Aveda lady alright! Hahahahaha! It was good to hear from you!!! I had totally forgotten about that, until now, then a flood of memories!!! Funny, funny, funny! Thanks for the fun times!

 
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