Friday, October 24, 2008

"Uh, you really shouldn't mumble, because I can't understand a word you're saying."

My dogs are out of control. They have stopped listening. After the hairy one had another explosive diarrhea incident in her crate (and on my floor and on the walls) in August, they got relegated to the great outdoors - permanently.

They have not taken kindly to this. The neurotic one pees on my carpets, floors and rugs. And eats the hairy one's food. And is trying to chew a hole through the sliding glass door.

The hairy one barks incessantly when outside at every little noise. She's quiet in doors, but only when she's alone. She doesn't listen well to "sit" or "stay" or anything, really.

They do have their redeeming qualities. Like listening when we're at the dog park. Or waiting until the command is given to go outside.

What gets me, though, is the barking in the middle of the night or the middle of the morning. Bark bark bark bark bark. Times 2. Ad nauseum.

When this happens, like it did in the wee hours of this morning for instance, I pull out my Secret Weapon. I rap my knuckles on the window really hard, just once. And they shut up. And every time I do it, while I give a secret smile and revel in the sudden quiet, I'm always in awe that it actually worked. I keep waiting for it to stop being effective. But so far, it's worked every time.

[Title quote is from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (2005)]

1 comment:

Jonathan and Katherine Earl said...

This post really made my day! I just laughed and laughed. I can remember times like these with our own sweet, long-eared one. I can also think of some parallels with our wonderful son...hopefully they will quickly become resigned to the fact that this is their life and they better get used to it and quit complaining about it. As the kids at the school say, "You get what you get, so don't throw a fit!" --Katherine

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