Thursday, November 18, 2010

"Oh, Mother Carey's chickens! What happened?"

Ahem. Did you know that it has been a while? And, oh, the thoughts! The thoughts I have had! They are gathering in my head, so many that they are starting to trip and stumble over one another. And, so help me, if ever they decide to come to the forefront all at once, my head might just tip forward under the weight of it all, nigh unto neck injury or maybe even breaking off. (Then you could call me Nearly Headless Nic!) (Oh, but don’t you even know how excited I am about Harry Potter on Friday???)

If I could have over the last few weeks (months?), I would have spun tales across this web that would have been. . . well, sort of spectacular is what they would have been!

I would have told you all about the celebration we held in honor of the Bug’s first whole year of life and how M frosted that child’s lovely face in such a way that I could just have eaten it up and loved it more than I love cake!

I would have told you about how watching too much Friends whilst folding laundered clothing has opened up a wormhole in my life and my husband was recently the understudy of one sickly Monica Geller, sans fluffy red robe, and my kid has channeled the camera face of Chandler Bing and how pretty freakin’ hilarious it all is!

I would have told you about the week when I underwent a bodily transformation and shapeshifted myself into a chocolate covered whale, and ate mini cheesecakes, chocolate chip cookies, birthday cake, half gallons of ice cream with chocolate shell coating on top, and Hershey’s kisses with such abandon that I didn’t need the scale’s daily upward inching to tell me that I gained back 5 (five!) hard-won pounds!

I would have told you about the comedy of errors it sometimes is to work for a governmental entity and how I get to watch the circus come to town each and every workday, touting such spectacles as the Festival of Political Posturing! and the Circumvent the Real Issues Jubilee! and my personal favorite, still being featured under the big top, the Exposition of Economic Doom!

I would have told you all of this and everything and so much more! But, alas, my wobbly noggin has been staring headlong at making the Boss’s (er, that would be me) deadline of having All Things Graduate School d-o-n-e and over with by the 30th of November. Nearly all my energy has buckled under that demand, to the hapless privation of this dejected blog and the overcrowding of my batty belfry.

I make no apology, save it be to say I’m sorry I have no stories to tell. (Well, there is this, but it serves mostly as reassurance that I can actually tell my head from my boobs these days, what with all the lopsidedness and whatnot.) Mayhaps you will come back in a month or so and I can sit you on my knee and regale you with tales of traveling over the Pacific with a 13-month old? Or some other anecdote that does not involve my anatomy?

Date? Date!

[Title quote is from "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest"]

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