Wednesday, November 3, 2010

"Time not important. Only life important."

My sister Trina has always been one of my best girlfriends. She offered to guest post and I'm so glad she did! Here, she talks about what it's been like to raise her second child. I know this is a subject near and dear to her heart. (I remember all the late night conversations. . . ) I also know she amazes me on a regular basis. And I love her.

I am a married mom of two. After the birth of my second child, I became, I guess you could say, branded.

I am now also known as a mom of a special needs child. She is developmentally delayed and was born deaf. In the beginning her prognosis wasn't great and was virtually unknown to doctors. Now, 8 years later she is hearing due to a cochlear hearing aid but still delayed.

In the past few years I have been reconnecting with some family members and friends and kept thinking "Wow, that was fun, why haven't I done this before now?" Lately the answer has become glaringly obvious to me. And maybe to others. I have been living in my own reality I suppose.

As a parent, you see the potential danger of your child about to be hurt in some way and the panic sets in. You feel the warm adrenaline rush through your body and begin to react. For me this was a daily occurrence and most often a minute-to-minute feeling. Everything became a potential danger, including basic movements. She had to have 4 stitches in her lip from a fall while she was crawling. Yes, crawling.

I would show up to family functions or even just a visit to someone and feel overwhelmed. Especially if my daughter was with me. And when I did show up that was about it I was already checked out, looking to see what might happen to her this time. I have had people tell me stories or bring up past conversations and I could vaguely remember what they were talking about. I have even noticed how much I missed of my son's life during these times and that has really affected me.

As she's gotten older, been through therapies, and become more independent I have been able to relax a bit and enjoy the people around me so much more. I just hope they're not still asking themselves "Where the heck has she been all this time?"

[Title quote is from "The Fifth Element"]

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