Friday, May 6, 2011

"What’s wrong babe? You okay? You sad? Sad monkey?"

You know what? When I said I wasn't ready for another week, I was right.

I am not here to gloat.

No, really. I would rather not have been in tears by Wednesday, exhausted by Thursday, and in tears again and more exhausted by Friday.

Sometimes you just have weeks like that, you know?

I have to admit that I beat myself up about my weight, about not being able to be home with my baby, about not being able to have more control about when my kid naps and what he eats, about not being healthy enough to do all I do and exercise without having it push me over the edge.

I have to admit I fantasized about running away to some exotic island beach, setting up shack, and living the life of a beach bum. More than once.

I have to admit that I had to remind myself how blessed I really am, despite feeling run down and frustrated and emotional. More than once.

I have to admit that I had to tell myself how ridiculous some of my thoughts and frustrations were, and to realize that not feeling well and being tired are a deadly combination. More than once.

It was just one of those weeks. Ones where TGIF is just not where it's at. No - bring me a nice, leisurely, well-rested Saturday morning to salve my exhausted body, to soothe my tired soul, to heal my gloomy spirit.

I wish I may, I wish I might have the Saturday morning tomorrow that I wish for tonight!

[Title quote is from "The House Bunny"]

1 comment:

Danielle said...

Dude, I totally have that same fantasy about running off to an island somewhere! At the end of our 5 months teaching English in Guatemala (when I was 19), the other teachers and I backpacked our way to a little island off the coast of Honduras for a few days. It was so much fun. And while I love my life right now (despite the chaos) sometimes I miss those carefree, irresponsible days. Someday, I'm going to get back to that little island. There's a hammock there with my name written all over it.

 
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