Saturday, November 3, 2007

"The voodoo clock speaks again!"

I'm just trying to figure out how it is we got to this point. I mean, I've always known M likes clocks, watches, alarms - seemingly time itself. Me, not so much. Add to this that my family is always on time (sometimes early) and his is usually (if not always) late. . . well it gets a little messy, that's all. This is my life.

And, this is my life on clocks: M has at least 3 watches, plus the clock on his cell phone, we have a clock in the livingroom, one in each bathroom, one in the spare bedroom, one on the microwave, one on the stove, the one on the alarm system, the one on the a/c thermostat, the one in the car.

We have an alarm clock with two alarm time settings, and he still sets the alarm on his cell phone every night as a "backup" to make sure he's up on time in case of a power failure. I, on the other hand, think of a power failure as the "snow day" of Arizona - plausible, but highly unlikely - and don't ever plan for them. I hit the snooze button at least 5 times anyway, so what's the point? I also have a watch . . . . stuffed in the bottom of my purse. It's a beautiful one M bought me, but I rarely wear it. When I've taught RS and needed to know the time, or when I've wanted an extra jewelry accessory are about the only times in recent history I've put it on. And, yes, I have the one on my cell phone. Don't even get me started about the ones on our two computers, and the ones on my phone and computer at work.

With all these time "pieces", you'd think I'd pay more attention to time. I don't. Unless, of course, M told me he'd be home 15 minutes or 2 hours ago. At times like those, I'm all about watching the time. I exercise significant restraint and keep myself from calling his cell every 5 minutes. Like today, when I expected him home at 9:30 and at 2:15 he was still doing a service project, I called simply to see if he'd eaten anything for lunch, and to gently remind him that he needed to both eat and catch up on sleep sometime today.

But, I digress. Growing up we had what I call a "clock situation" at our house. The one in the kitchen said one time, the one on the VCR said another. If I was coming home for curfew, I never knew if I'd be late or on time, since it depended on if my parents were up, and if they were, which clock they were looking at.

That said, I'm really not into time. It doesn't exactly play fair, you know. It goes too fast, there's not enough to go around, I can't possibly keep up with it, and it never lets me win. It's very quality demands a constancy I can't quite muster and oozes an intangibility I just can't stomach.

So, given M's affinity for clocks and watches, and my propensity for "getting things organized", you'd think that one of us could find it in ourselves to synchronize our sundry blasted clocks - my loathing for time's steady, onward march aside. Not the case. And I'm about to go batty with the one in the car being 4 minutes faster than the one in the kitchen; and the one in the livingroom marching to it's own time-keeping rhythm, and the one in M's bathroom being set faster for his getting-ready-for-work schedule, and the one in my bathroom - who knows if it's even right?!! And the one on the alarm system being 43-ish minutes fast since the alarm guy reset it and we have no idea how to fix it. And the one on the thermostat - well, we're just too lazy.

I could go on and on. Suffice it to say that when I mention this harrowing time disarray going on in our house, M just says to me, his voice burgeoning with boyish excitement, "you could always just look at the one on the weather station in the kitchen. It's atomic!"

Oh, crap! I forgot about that one!

[Title quote is from "Evan Almighty"]


Jen said...

seriously you are so funny! I miss living next to you!! We have the same issue w/ none of the clocks being in synch w/ each other! And then when we fix one I can never remember if we set it back to "real" time or if we set it to a "safe" 5 minutes fast time. Or if one of the kids played w/ the buttons. I fear this is a battle we will never win!!

Caroline said...

I'm laughing my rear off right now! Seriously, who synchronizes their watches anyway. Well, except maybe Troy. . . all our clocks say they same time. . . I'm not responsible for that.

trina said...

ok, so even w/ the parents situ @ home growing up and in the military u'd think i'd begun to hate clocks as much as i see u do... not the case B AND I "synchrnize" our clocks. if power goes or we get a new clock i stand @ one and will tell him the time to the second and he will adjust accordingly. the exception, his alarm clock, which he sets approx 15 min fast so he can feel like he's on time and be early. he doen't like to be early but not exactly late either. i'm the one pushing him out the door so we can be on time... which for me is about 10 min early.

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