Tuesday, July 21, 2009

“Oh please don’t you rock my boat, ‘cause I don’t want my boat to be rockin’.”

M finally finished the dreaded graduate statistics class! Woohoo! He promptly enrolled in another class – the first of his “specialization” classes, which is exciting. He’s more than half way there. . .

So, our “free” time has been split between heading up north to kayak at Willow Springs and working our rears off getting ready for this baby. We’re rearranging rooms, strategizing over storage, assembling furniture, and cleaning like mad. Oh, and I’m sewing. I’ve finished binding a quilt and sewing two nursing covers. Next up: crib skirt and diaper bag. And when I’m not doing all that, I’m reading like crazy, trying to learn all I can about all things baby and making mental lists that quickly get lost in the shuffle.

With all that work, I can’t wait to spend more uninterrupted time up in my kayak up on the rim. I’m a little scared of the monsoons that have rolled in. Last time, we got rained on and hailed on and had to pull the boats out of the water and wait it out for about a half hour – and that was before these storms were bona fide monsoons. We’ve learned to have rain gear packed in our dry wells, so we were pretty comfortable, but freaked out about lightning and being caught between trees and water. . . Up on the rim, weather spins in a swirling vortex. Just as the sky clears in front of you, it sneaks around from behind and thunder and lightning send you chasing across the lake, in search of clearer skies. It’s all great fun.

M on his kayak

The swirling vortex

We laugh every time we see "The Sexy Cow" on the way there

As you can see, all this has left little time for writing and even less for introspection or journaling. In truth, I haven’t written in my journal in. . . . longer than I care to admit. Which, for me, is kind of sad. We get to go on vacation soon, and I think I’m going to try to get reacquainted with my journal in the weeks before then – so that I can spend some uninterrupted vacation time with my thoughts and maybe share a bit of them here, just like old times.

I also have another idea up my sleeve, but it’s going to take some thought. I’ve recently been asked by a friend about my “story” of how I became LDS and usually when I’m asked that I ramble some well-rehearsed version of the same series of events that led to my conversion. But, it really is a story and since I promised I’d give a shot at telling it here, I’d like to give it some thought and try to tell it in a way that does the story justice.

I’ve been missing the writing process lately. For a long time now I haven’t had the desire for much introspection and even less for writing. So, I laid those things aside for other pursuits and now I feel them calling me back. Perhaps it’s the invisible ticking down of the clock, signaling the approach of a temporary end to my copious amounts of free (“me”) time as I prepare to divert my energies and efforts to learning how to be a mother. I sense a coming tidal wave in that singular life-changing moment, one which will take me up and encompass me completely until I come to distinguish water from air, self from mother, until the waters calm and I achieve balance and learn to sail.

[Title quote is from a song: “Satisfy My Soul” by Bob Marley and The Wailers]

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