Tuesday, October 27, 2009

"I truly believe that happiness is possible... even when you're thirty-three and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls."

Actually, my rear end is not totally exploded from pregnancy, which is kind of nice, in a hopeful sort of way. Regardless, today I do turn 33 and I’ve been pretty pensive about this past year, along with my life’s general history.

When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I spent WAY too much time wanting all the answers and waiting for the Next Big Thing. It was an awful waste of time, during those precious, youthful years, to be living in the future instead of in the present. BUT, I got myself centered a decade ago and learned how to live in the now and take each day as it comes and all that. By my late 20s, I was lulled fantastically into a blissful sense of security that everything would keep going on much as it had been, that life would just bump and hum along as peacefully and calmly as it was right then. And then, my 30s walked up and smacked me upside the head and I faced my own inevitability.

Even so, this past year has been possibly the calmest of my life, despite that it got off to a bumpy, miscarrying start and M was unemployed for 5 months of it. The thing getting older does for you is help you take such things in stride and learn that, even though they are not part of The Plan, they are not the end of the world – and more importantly, there really is no “Plan” I can come up with that takes into account the one so excellently crafted personally for me by my Creator. No Plan is not something my 15 or 17 or even 23 year old self would have ever thought possible.

And now, freshly 33, I stand on the precipice of motherhood, which is bogglingly surreal in its own right, and am really looking forward to the next year of my life. It’s sure to be another good one!

[Title quote is from "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason"]

2 comments:

Jen said...

oh happy happy b-day!!! I hope it is a fantastic one!!

Trina said...

love that! happy bday!

 
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